Blog Post

“7 Phrases To Disarm Toxic Foodies”

Please Share The Urban Herbivore

Hello Dear One,

In grammar school we were taught to keep our eyes on our own paper. Somehow this rule didn’t transfer to keeping our eyes on our own plate. I want to make something clear, we have no right to judge what other people are eating. Eyes on your own plate please.

I have arrived home after traveling and I was gone five days and I lost five pounds because I was under so much scrutiny from outsiders. I arrived home tired and weak because I didn’t eat enough and I didn’t have the balanced nutrients I am used to having. These outsiders had no interest in asking me how I was or knowing me, yet they felt entitled to judge me and what was on my plate. And guess what? I have no right to control how anyone sees me.

I am not here to judge what is on your plate. I believe a whole food plant-based lifestyle is healthy. I have researched and read the science and health benefits behind whole food plant-based living and I know you are here to learn more about whole food plant-based cooking other wise you wouldn’t be reading this.

However, I was not prepared to handle the judgment. I was not prepared to handle the questions of why I was eating differently. I wasn’t prepared to handle the gaslighting and angry comments.

I would hate for you to endure what I did, so I sought some advice from Lisa A Romano, Breakthrough Life Coaching and devised this list of seven phrases you can use to deflect toxic foodies or toxic people in general.

  1. I’m sorry you feel that way.
  2. I’m sorry you think that.
  3. I can accept your faulty perception of me.
  4. I have no right to control how your see me.
  5. I guess I have to accept that’s how you feel.
  6. You are entitled to your reality.
  7. Your anger is not my responsibility.

Here are four examples of what I have endured from outsiders. In most cases I chose not to respond, but by not responding, the gaslighter of the group just kept dousing me. So here are some comments and how I could have handled them more effectively.

Gaslighter, “You’re eating too much food.”
Me shrugging my shoulders, “I’m sorry you think that.”
Or I could have said, “You are entitled to your reality.”

Gaslighter, “Do you want to go to lunch with us? OR, are you on a health kick?”
Me, “No Thank you, I guess I have to accept you feel I’m on a health kick.”

Gaslighter, “What are you trying to DO die a martyr?”
Me indifferently, “I have no right to control how your see me.”

Gaslighter to another person at the table, “She is ONLY eating plants.
Me, “I can accept your faulty perception of me.”

Bottom line, if you are in a position where an outsider continues to take stabs at you, you do not have to put up with their dysfunction. You are not responsible for other people’s anger. So when they throw a book at you just respond, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” and leave.

Lisa says it is all about accepting what other people say, because they are entitled to their reality. You are entitled to your reality and I am entitled to my reality.

People who care about you, will be supportive of your lifestyle and respectful of your personal choices. So until next time, please keep your eyes on your own plate. Food is meant to be enjoyed, not judged.

I’m sending you much love,


Please Share The Urban Herbivore

Tamara A. Rager



what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Sorry I have not been posting much lately. I hope you are doing well.

Big changes are going on around here and I have been so busy I’ve just had to stay off-line. This evening I made a quick meal with roasted corn, pinto beans, green pepper, red onion, tomatoes, spinach, lime juice, and avocado.
#wfpb #NoOil #NoSalt #NoSugar #healthyfood
  • Enjoyed an easy conversation that bounced like ping pong with a group of local writers. The Beet burger was fantastic. Blood red with a smoked peanut butter. Sounds strange, but it was the best plant based burger I’ve eaten. Salty though! #water #wfpb
  • U wanta piece of me? Be prepared to fold ur suit. #DogsOfInstagram #IvoryLab #LabradorRetriever #ILoveMyMozey
  • Mosey has decided to try out for Pentatonix. #Pentatonix #labsofinstagram #LabradorRetrievers #DogsOfInstagram #ChristmasMusic #MayAllYourChristmasesBeWhite #IvoryLab
  • The organic yams 🍠 from Whole Foods have been absolutely delicious this season! Great addition to greens and mushroom stroganoff. Yummy! #yams #fallfood #wfpb
  • My date for the evening. Hot bath and a book! #IAmReading #TheSnowman #Thriller #jonesbo
  • How is your weekend going? I’m playing with a new hummus recipe and Buddha Bowl....👳🏽‍♂️👩🏻‍🍳#Hummus #wfpb  #BuddhaBowl
  • When ur smile isn’t convincing anyone ur giving them the cold shoulder. #coldshoulder #friday #tgif 🤣

Follow Me!